Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Do vagina's smell?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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