I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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