Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize