Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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