dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
