How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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