There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize