What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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