my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
