You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
