My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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