kristin has been a bad kristin
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize