where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
