I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
