hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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