And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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