Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
