I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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