if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
