I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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