Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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