does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
