Yo dont text me then not text me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize