you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
