I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
