I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize