So drunk, too bad you don't want this
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
