be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
