Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
