I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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