Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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