we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize