peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
im holly from the hills drunk
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
