i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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