Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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