so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize