He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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