I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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