i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
the liver wants what the liver wants
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
