Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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