Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize