That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
