Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
