is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
