butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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