Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
