Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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