the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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