I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
