soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
