the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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