i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
