ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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