not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
