Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
