yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize