If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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