I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Pants are for mortals
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
