I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
