3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
