I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
