he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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